Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
Victim becomes the accused
Opinion: Rape has many faces, many forms.
If you accidentally left your car in an unsecured position on a busy road at night, would you feel you were to blame if an unscrupulous person took the chance to take your car for a joy ride? Would you blame the owner if after they left their fully locked bicycle in an unsafe place, this bike was subsequently stolen? And if you wouldn’t blame the owners, whom would you blame?
In Ireland young women enjoy going out. Like men, they enjoy dressing up, having a few drinks, a bit of flirting and then heading home, sometimes not alone. Does this mean that women deserve the blame if they are raped?
Amnesty International research last year found that 46% of university students in Northern Ireland believe that rape victims who flirted with their attacker are partially or totally responsible for what happened to them.
The statistics for rape convictions speak for themselves. In a 2003 study, Ireland has the lowest rate of conviction for rape in Europe (See here). Brave victims of rape who choose to see their attacker in court, in the name of justice, often speak of feeling as though they had to prove their innocence instead of the court proving the guilt of the accused. Would the same happen to a car or bicycle owner?
Young women are at risk of seeming provocative when they go out, accused of acting in a contributory manner to their fate. Yet they are far more at risk of being raped by somebody they know.
What do you consider rape to be? Did you ever picture rape to be the firm and persistent request for sexual relations, with force not as the conscious aim but with sex the result?
The rape victim often pictured is innocent, set upon by a stranger of the night, savagely beaten in the process. In reality the victim of rape could be any woman. She could have chosen not to fight her attacker; so her scars are psychological and not physical. Often she is raped not just once, she is raped repeatedly by the society she lives in, which refuses to take this crime against her seriously.
It is important that we young people fight the silence that accompanies a crime perpetrated in many forms. It is unthinkable that we lay the blame on the victim of a crime; tell her it was her fault she suffered in the way she did because of how she behaved. We can’t argue equal rights when sex is thought to be a given right in a relationship or after a night out peppered with too many drinks.
We must consider our own relationships: our own attitudes to sex and sexuality, our limits and boundaries, what we want and what we don’t want. We must ask the question: at what point does a relationship become abusive?
It is an insult to men to treat them as if they are biologically incapable of controlling their impulses. It is an affront to every woman to imply that a woman can only be a victim if she is an acceptable one. We must remember that men are also victims of this heinous crime.
Rape is more than just about sex, it is about power, domination and subordination. It is a violation of body, mind and spirit. Its impact can often span a lifetime. Rape has many faces, many forms.
By: Annette Carter
The Rape Crisis Network gives support to victims or rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse. They can go with you to the gardai or police, listen to you or make sure you get counselling. There is also professional help available from your local Health Board.
Find supportive information on abuse and rape here.
