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Irish society is still obsessed with keeping appearances up
Opinion: A person is far more than a label or job title.
Do you remember being asked when you were younger: “What do you want to be when you grow up?” I always found it strange, as though what you do to earn a living makes you who you are. 15 years later, I often find myself cornered by a well meaning, “What are you doing” within seconds of meeting somebody new or known to me. I don’t dispute that knowing what somebody does can form part of building a rapport with somebody with finding something to talk about. However, it seems to me that asking this question moves beyond polite enquiry and is used instead as a way of deciding whether you are good enough to be associated with.
In rural Ireland especially, there still holds out a scary, God like reverence for anybody in the professions or who has money. I smile at the black comedy of mothers who shout from the ceilings that one of their children is a nurse, the other a teacher etc. Never mind that they could be could be Harold Shipman in the making; they are ‘successful’, therefore their parents have done a great job.
But where does that kindof thinking leave us now? In an economic recession, it is dangerous to think a person begins and ends with what they do to put bread and butter on the table. It is actually cruel to educate us in a system that values educational and professional ‘success’ above everything else.
In my work with young people, I am familiar with the stories of young men who felt rejected from school and the ‘in-crowd’ because they weren’t sporty. I found these young men to be thoughtful, full of passion and able to ‘see through the faults of our society’. All of these qualities are vital to a well functioning community and society, yet they are not valued so highly. For example, we only get the politicians we ask for when we admire arrogance, professional success, a certain shrewdness and personal connections above other human qualities such as compassion and tolerance.
Irish society is basically still obsessed with keeping appearances up. Greed was encouraged in the Celtic Tiger years and being rich was a sign of strength and success. Judging by the current fall-out, such greed was, in-fact, very weak and damaging to society.
Having ‘over-respect’ for people in professions assumes they have those qualities we associate with the profession. They don’t necessarily; one look at the current Catholic Church scandal confirms that. You can have a sense of justice without being a lawyer; be caring without being a doctor.
What I am describing is a value system; it can be changed. A person is far more than a label or a job title. A person should never feel as though they aren’t ‘something’ simply because they don’t meet the narrow definition of what success is. Be proud of who you are and your special strengths. After all, strength certainly doesn’t begin and end at the physical. I say, stand up to the ‘What do you do’s?’ of the world. The next time I am going to say, “I’m being me…and what do you do?”
By: Annette Carter
