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If I were a bi...
Opinion: Where's the support for bisexuals?
Bisexuality. Ah yes, there goes that confused/distasteful look sweeping across the face of the average lesbian reader. Despite the fact that the B in our ‘LGBT’ stands for bisexuality, bisexuals (and bisexuality alike), still doesn’t sit right with the lesbian community. We, amongst other demographics of society, tend to have a B in our bonnet about bisexuals, looking down on bisexuality with the superior attitude that our single sex attraction brings. We often attribute the following adjectives to bisexuals; ‘confused’, ‘greedy’, ‘cowardly’, ‘selfish’, ‘promiscuous’ and such. Not only do we attribute these unflattering descriptions to bisexuals, we also undermine their identity by viewing it as an ‘on the fence’ orientation, something which is declared out of convenience rather than fact. So, why do we view what essentially makes up a ¼ of the LGBT acronym with such scepticism and dislike?
Perhaps it stems from our own coming out journeys, when we may have used the ‘bi’ label to define ourselves, feeling that this identification would be more easily accepted by friends/families than a full blown ‘I’m a dyke’ confession. Yet is it really fair for us to assume that everyone who identifies as being bisexual is therefore then just taking the same slow transition route that we once were? Did we ever stop to think that maybe, just maybe, they really are torn between the 2010 Hollyoaks male and female calendar at the end of the year?
In the October issue of DIVA, an article discussing ‘sexual fluidity’ was featured. It referred to ‘late bloomer’ lesbians - women who after having been genuinely ‘straight’ throughout their lifetime, suddenly started to experience same sex attractions, suggesting that sexuality can change over time. So who’s to say that someone who identifies as a lesbian in 2010 may never wish to feel the rough brush of stubble against her cheek in the future? And if this desire were to come upon we readers, what would the repercussions be? As a bisexual, would we feel the same level of support and acceptance that we felt as a Lesbian in the LGBT community? The letters L and G are at the forefront of ‘LGBT,’ while B is relegated to second last, followed by T for Transgendered. Does this in itself represent the superior stance Lesbians and Gays take over the latter two identifications?
Unless you have been hiding under a rock this past month, you will have watched the eagerly awaited lesbian drama Lip Service, which began on BBC3 in October. A friend of mine, who instinctively took a shine to Frankie when she laid eyes on the front cover of the August issue of DIVA, swiftly took back her professions of undying love upon hearing that Frankie’s character was ‘bi’ and not lesbian. So why is bisexuality such a turn off to many lesbians? OK we’ve looked at the bi=cowardly view that some of us may have, but could it just be insecurity? Aren’t we just ultimately scared that a bisexual girl may leave us for a guy? Yet aren’t bisexuals blue in the face with explaining that it’s not just the gender that they are attracted to, it’s the person?
Celebrities who identify as bisexual when they clearly aren’t, who use bisexuality in order to generate media attention and sell records (Madonna and Britney’s kiss, Katy Perry’s song ‘I kissed a girl’ come to mind...) don’t exactly help the bisexual’s cause, especially when it comes to convincing we lesbians. Perhaps these celebrities remind us of those straight girls we knew growing up, who kissed other girls for the sole purpose of getting guys attention (not they we were complaining at the time!) These girls essentially turned our sexuality into a spectacle for the purpose of straight men’s entertainment. So is this why we are so suspicious of girl’s that claim to be ‘bi’? And if so, is this really fair? Just because ‘bisexuality’ is sometimes used by straight girls for attention seeking purposes, or by celebrities in order to sell records, should we really be placing everyone who identifies as bisexual in the same boxes as the aforementioned people?
We need to stop treating bisexuals like the lepers of our LGBT community. Not only are we picking on a minority in a minority (not the best example to be giving out to the rest of the world eh?), but we may be also pressurising women and men who are bisexual into choosing one gender or the other, in other words conforming to a ‘straight’ life or a ‘gay’ life, in order to avoid the negative stigma that the LGBT and ‘straight’ communities attach to them when they identify as a bisexual. The LGBT community ultimately fight for equality, so isn’t it time that we practice what we preach?
By: Christine Allen
Christine is a regular young contributer for Bolt Magazine, a mag for LGBTQ women in Ireland.
