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I am a food-aholic
Food humour - my life.
I stared longingly at the beauty set before me and wondered how something so beautiful could even exist. I could hear a voice calling to me, telling me to walk right in there and do what needed to be done. ‘Don’t do it’ my brain chimed repeatedly in my head. ‘If I just walk away, I’ll be fine and I won’t think back to the beautiful, awe inspiring sight that lies before my very eyes’.
Oh who the feck am I kidding? Something that good can’t be walked away from! So I did it. I walked in and I went up to him. I stared him down in sheer determination, clutching tightly onto my bag. ‘I’ll take the double chocolate chip with fudge icing muffin’, I demanded defensively, ‘and a Diet coke too! I then gave him a look that almost dared him to say something. ‘Coming right up’, he replied unsurely as he gave me a sliding glance, walking off to get the tray set up. I sighed in relief.
Before I knew it I was sat down at some corner table, the muffin half devoured. Oh. My. God. Amazing isn’t even the word. The texture, the moisture of the sponge, the melt of the chocolate in my mouth sent my salivary glands into over drive. There was no doubt about it. By the time I had finished that muffin and taken in every last drop of that Diet Coke I had a food-gasm. Yeah you heard me. A food-gasm. And before you judge, the Diet Coke has no calories so that totally cuts out the badness of the muffin! PLUS chocolate is made with milk, and milk has calcium. Calcium is good for healthy teeth and my dentist always says my teeth are in terrible shape, so really I did it for the sake of my health!
Don’t give me that look. Don’t raise that eyebrow. What the hell do you know? You just wish you were the one licking the icing off the paper case it was baked in. I’ll tell you right now lads - the grin on my face is not gonna be going anytime soon! Today I put forth my confession - I am a foodaholic.
By: cuffesis
