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Fidelity
Youth voice: Is fidelity possible in today's society?
With so many high-profile infidelities making the headlines over the last few years, the issue of relationships and cheating is very much a hot topic. Divorce is rife in today’s society and technology makes it easier than ever to organise discreet rendezvous. A massive percentage of us have either cheated, or been cheated on, in a previous relationship. So it’s very much up for discussion whether monogamous commitment is in fact possible (or indeed desirable), in modern relationships.
How many times have we read that women seek security, fidelity and commitment, and that men are hardwired to womanise, have a roving eye and sow their seed? Men are apparently opportunists by nature; present them with the opportunity to cheat or stray from their partner and 8 times out of 10 they will take it. Women on the other hand are apparently more likely to stray because of problems within a relationship. They generally have more opportunities to cheat than men, but tend only to take up on them when they are feeling under-appreciated or to win a man over or for personal gain or enjoyment. It also can’t be denied that our massive binge drinking culture has a huge role to play in infidelity, by boosting confidence and contributing to poor decision-making.
Women are often faced with the dilemma of being a modern woman whose right it is to enjoy sex and sleep with whomever she chooses, whilst at the same time avoiding the reputation of the loose woman. Men’s philandering sexploits are celebrated, congratulated and joked about amongst friends, whilst women are encouraged to take a more private approach and to be less free with their sexuality. Some couples opt for open relationships, but I feel that this is no other than an excuse for unhealthy relationships, for doormat wives and women who feel that they can’t do any better. In my opinion, these relationships started with a woman first playing the role of ‘the cool girlfriend’ and morphed into the role of a woman afraid to change the status quo, for fear of losing an already uncommitted man.
Women in the past relied on men for financial and emotional security, so had to stick around. Nowadays, women are in a better position to provide this for themselves and it’s much easier for a woman to dump a boyfriend who’s been playing around. The fairer sex has always been encouraged to play the forgiving role and has been fed propaganda about men’s hormones and sexual desires being stronger than their own, a nod to past beliefs that women should suppress their sexuality and play a passive role in bed, forgoing any entitlement to pleasure or enjoyment.
Studies do show that men are the least forgiving sex and rarely take back a cheating partner. Perhaps it’s time ladies should also take a zero tolerance attitude and get rid of men who can’t keep it in their pants. We all try to push the limits of what we can get away with and some men enjoy the stud reputation and expect women to accept that they are liars and will break their hearts.
You only have to listen to almost any song ever written by a man to see the whole concept of the alpha male romanticised. We all hear about the charmer who gets his way, jumps off and moves on to the next conquest, leaving a path of devastated ladies behind. The reality is that women generally see right through these kind of men and are programmed to reject them as relationship (and thus sexual) material.
When it comes to relationships, surely fidelity is what separates mere lovers from a couple. It’s an agreement and a trade-off, our fidelity for yours.
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