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Summer? What summer?
A rant about the not-so-warm global warming phenomena!
I’m absolutely sick of this horrible weather. There’s only so much rain and wind I can take. It would be so much easier to get out of bed if there was a little sunshine in the morning.
Realistically, I’m never going to jump out of bed. But, I might drag myself out a little quicker if it wasn’t so cold. Is it really that much to ask? Animals and birds have definitely got the right idea. Birds migrate for a couple of months when they fancy a change of weather. They’ve been having sun holidays long before travel agents ever existed and will continue despite our recession. Hibernation is even better. The chance to have a long lie-in. Sounds like heaven.
I should have been a bear... in fact, if this weather doesn’t improve soon I’ll consider anything.
I was so happy when I heard of global warming. I thought Ireland would be transformed into this beautiful tropical climate.
I had plans for a whole new summer wardrobe. We would spend our summers at the beach and have all-year-round tans.
I thought it would give us the chance to lose a few layers. We spend so much time in thermals that we are shocked at the sight of skin. Then again, maybe it’s best that all those bikinis stay lost at the back of drawers.
But it just wasn’t to be. Global warming is definitely a misleading term and the people who came up with it have a lot to answer for. I mean I’d be more likely to want to protect the environment if it was called “change your ways or it will piss-rain-forever”, because as it is now, I see that spray of an aerosol as being our only chance of getting a bit of heat. To hear the environmentalists you would think that we were going to die of drought. They should have emphasised less of the warming part and a bit more of the realities of global warming, i.e. we haven’t a hope of hell of the rain stopping (except for when its time to go back to school in September obviously).
So, I’m thinking of building an ark to rival Noah’s. We’ll do it bigger and better- it will be a pimped out version, more cruise ship than anything. I’m not sure if you need a licence to drive a boat but I’ll give it a go. Don’t even mention the cost of petrol or insurance. Who wants to join me?
By: Marie Duffy
