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Testiculating- Waving your arms around and talking b*llocks.
New words
Blamestorming- Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
Seagull manager- A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything and then leaves.
Assmosis- The process by which people seem to absorb success and advancement by sucking up to the boss rather than working hard.
Salmon day- The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die.
Cube farm- An office filled with cubicles.
Prairie dogging- When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on. (This also applies to applause from a promotion because there may be cake.)
Mouse potato- The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.
Sitcoms - Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids or start a "home business".
Stress puppy- A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found," meaning that the requested document could not be located.
OH NO Second- That minuscule fraction of time in which you realise that you've just made a BIG mistake (e.g. you've hit 'reply all').
Beer coat- The invisible but warm coat worn when walking home after a booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
Beer compass- The invisible device that ensures your safe arrival home after a booze cruise, even though you're too drunk to remember where you live, how you got here and where you've come from.
Breaking the seal- Your first pee in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night.
Monkey bath- A bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo! Oo! Ho! Aa! Aa! Aa!"
Mystery bus- The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday night while you're in the toilet after your tenth pint and whisks away all the unattractive people, so the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
By: Marie Duffy
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