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Guide to Zen
Sex is like air. It only becomes really important when you aren't getting any.
Article by : SpunOut.ie
- The darkest hours come just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk and newspaper, that's the time to do it.
- Have you ever lent someone €20 and never seen that person again? It was probably worth it.
- Don't aspire to become irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
- Remember, no one is listening until you fart.
- Never forget that like everyone else, you are unique.
- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
- If at first you don't succeed, avoid skydiving.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
- If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Some days we are the flies; some days we are the windscreen.
- Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
- The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
- A closed mouth gathers no feet.
- Generally speaking, you aren't learning much if your lips are moving.
- Never miss a good chance to shut up.
- Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
- When we are born we are naked, wet, hungry, and we get smacked on our arse. From there on in, life gets worse.
- The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
- Remember not to forget that which you do not need to know.
By: Marie Duffy
The opinions of writers featured on SpunOut.ie do not necessarily reflect the views of the SpunOut.ie team or those of Community Creations. We try to give everyone a chance to have their opinions heard but we are not responsible for inaccuracies contained within these.
