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Being Bi (sexual)
True life: Coming to terms with sexuality.
Picture a common enough scenario: a group of gals chatting away in a classroom during lunch. Suddenly, they start talking about lesbians and all that is weird about that particular deviant group.
So, like a coward, I waltzed out of the room to bang my head off the bathroom wall, instead of putting them right. I should have said there’s nothing weird or wrong with lesbians (or bisexuals for that matter). But whilst banging my head off said wall, I happened to look up and see the words “Shauna is gay” written in black permanent marker.
Ironic? I nearly laughed.
Before that I’d always thought of myself as being totally open with my sexuality and gay issues and rights (albeit to friends and family). I had a certain snobbishness for those who weren’t so voracious. But faced with people who I didn’t know all that well, rather than friends I knew for years and trusted, I was terrified. There were plenty of questions. ‘What if I ‘come out’ accidentally? ‘Will they still talk to me?’ And in a girls’ school rumours are ripe about girls’ sexuality and...eh… exploits. I wasn’t ready to be a target yet.
Bisexuals can be seen as ‘not knowing what end of them is up’ or ‘wanting their bread buttered on both sides’. And of course the mythical mad sex life! Well it’s not true (mostly!)
Realising that you’re bisexual can take a long time, with disbelief and confusion not helping. But along the rocky road of finding your sexuality you do learn a lot about yourself and others.
Coming out as bi can be hard. Friends might already know and be really supportive. Others might not be but they’ll come to terms with it. Family (especially parents) can be shocked and think it’s just a phase. That can be hard to deal with, especially after months of working it out for yourself. Then there’s the stupid question ‘How do you know?’ Same way as they know they’re straight! Duh!
But (and pay attention here!) it’s not all bad!! Being bi can leads to a lot of fun, hi-jinks, experimentation and adventure! From fancying your best friend to discovering (for definite!) that the guy you’ve been staring at thinks you’re hot too!
For the moment though, I’m wearing my ‘straight’ face while coming out slowly but surely!
Anonymous
It is important that you feel comfortable with your sexuality. If you want to talk to someone about sexuality, contact:
BeLonG To PHONE: 01-873 4184
Supporting Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender (LGBT) young people.
This article is part of the SpunOut.ie true life stories section – a space for young people to share their experiences of tough times and encourage others to seek help. This story is just one person's experience and it may be different for you. Remember that no matter what you are going through, there is help and support available. See the Find help section for more information: http://www.spunout.ie/help/
