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Violence in a relationship
True life: It's a horrible thing having a violent partner, or seeing and feeling any form of violence.
It happened to me once and it really affected me for a long time after. Luckily I had a loving family and friends who supported and looked after me so that I never felt vulnerable enough to go back.
One night my boyfriend at the time sat on top of me and repetitively punched me on both sides of my ears, I couldn’t move and he wouldn’t stop. Some how I escaped and ran away. I was lucky that I didn’t pass out and made it to a neighbour’s house, where I stayed the night.
The next day the shock of it all hit me and I couldn’t stop crying. I think I had a wee bit of amnesia too. My parents picked me up and I stayed with them for a while, my ears went black when the bruising finally came out. The doctor said I was very lucky and that I could have needed a hearing aid, if I hadn’t escaped, he also said I was lucky to be alive. That really hit home for me as I kind of felt like I had angels watching over me that night.
The worst thing for me was the nightmares, they happened a lot for a good year afterwards and they seemed to bring the whole thing back each time. People I knew said he must have done it before, as he knew where to hit so that my hair would cover the bruising. Some people thought I should report him to the cops, I did go to the station once but I just wanted to move on with my life.
I think if I didn’t have the support I needed at the time things could be very different, I’m a very forgiving person and if he had the opportunity to say it will never happen again, bla bla bla- you never know, things could have been harder for me.
I can empathise with women whose husband or boyfriend is violent towards them yet they stay. You feel very vulnerable and often the woman is made to feel it’s her fault, ashamed, frightened and generally not strong enough to leave. Often there is children or financial reasons too and so it becomes very hard for women to leave.
I’m more aware and not so naïve now, I would never be with a man who could be violent towards me, so in a weird way I learnt a valuable lesson very young. I think it’s a really horrible thing for any woman or family in the world to go through. Hopefully, soon it won’t exist.
Find out about escaping a violent relationship.
See the help section for contacts details of support organisations.
This article is part of the SpunOut.ie true life stories section – a space for young people to share their experiences of tough times and encourage others to seek help. This story is just one person's experience and it may be different for you. Remember that no matter what you are going through, there is help and support available. See the Find help section for more information: http://www.spunout.ie/help/
