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My mam having cancer
Living with a sick person is extremely difficult.
Living with a sick person is extremely difficult. But when it’s your mam, it’s much worse. The person who gave birth to you, and cared for you since you were able to breathe now asks for your help.
It was August when she told me. She had been admitted into hospital with a bad chest infection that wouldn’t clear. Tests proved that what was causing her to stay sick was a tumour.
I remember when she told me they had found a lump. I was sitting beside her bed in hospital. We were alone. It wasn’t for me to get upset. I had to tell my mam that it could be anything at that stage. And even if it was cancer, it could be benign. Too simple.
I was walking across the green to my house when she called me. I sat down on the grass underneath the shining sun, and between a cool breeze. I answered the phone and I heard her. Before she spoke I knew she was sad. She told me she had lung cancer. She then told me she had a year to live. She told me she loved me. She then cried. She told me to head home.
I cried. I couldn’t stop crying. I felt pain like I had never felt it before.
As I’m revisiting this moment in my life, I’m unable to feel that same pain. That momentary breakdown from an ugly depressing conversation will remain in my past and hopefully I won’t have to deal with that again.
My mam’s diagnosis changed and they offered her treatment. The months after, while my mam was getting chemotherapy, and I was carrying on with life, I floated. I was in a daze and honestly a confused state for quite a while. I was caring for my mam along with my sister, as our dad lives abroad. I wanted to have my mam’s cancer. I wanted to take away her pain, and deal with it myself, because I felt I could. I wanted to anything in the world for her. I just wanted her to be my mam again. As the chemo deteriorated her, I did too. But I found something inside of me. A voice that told me to be brave, and to continue on, because things had to get better. Things will always get better, no matter how long it takes, there is some sort of improvement.
Now things are better, her tumour is shrinking, and she’s gaining her energy and appetite. Things are turning around.
I realise how depressing this all is but it was nothing less than heartbreaking seeing my mam unable to be herself.
Today is the 11th of January 2010. A new decade, a new year, a new start. Only now can I evaluate who I was during a tough period.
What I can say to you is, if you are faced with a life-changing problem, an altering situation, please don’t give up. There were times when I couldn’t find the energy to do homework, or even sit and talk with friends.
I had to find something inside of me. A small amount of inspiration can cause great personal change. A positive attitude can create new opportunities. Being able to be yourself, is the greatest gift you can offer the person inside of you. Speculate positivity and accumulate success.
I wish anyone with a tough situation- whatever it may be- the best of luck. Being brave is a tough task, but rewarding. Now I’m facing a brighter future, and leaving behind a dark past.
By: Andrew
