Dealing with divorce
True life: Parents breaking up doesn't mean the end of the world.
Divorce and separation affect many of us. Some people experience it in different ways. It’s a difficult transition for everyone involved but it’s not all bad, according to these girls who I interviewed, Samantha and Kelly.
Interview 1:
Claire: Tell me a little about your parent’s relationship?
Samantha: There was a big age gap between my parents but they were on the same wavelength. They were together for five years. They separated after I was born. I’m the youngest.
Claire: So, you were too young to have realised what was going on. But did the divorce affect you later on?
Samantha: At times like Christmas I felt bad because my dad was on his own. When we went to visit dad, I always felt like I was betraying my mum. Even after they split, they didn’t get on. I kinda gave my mum a hard time when she’d be giving out about dad because I was a daddy’s girl, I was just biased. It didn’t affect me in school or in my relationships with other people. When I went to see my dad it was like going on a holiday because we were going somewhere new and he spoiled me and my sister and let us run riot. I was lucky because I had a sister, so if it ever got too much then I could talk to her.
Claire: What’s your relationship like now with you and your parents?
Samantha: I live with my mam and my sister, but I still talk to my dad a lot. My parents never communicate but I get on well with them both now. I’m glad my parents broke up because they didn’t make each other happy and we would all be living in that atmosphere. Now they can go and find their own happiness.
Claire: How would you advise anyone who’s parents are separating?
Samantha: It’s a tough time, but you’ll be happy in the long run once you have adjusted. You don’t feel like this overnight, you need time to adjust. Sometimes divorces are bitter and full of anger, but that doesn’t reflect how the whole situation will be in the future. Your parents will move on and hopefully find someone who really makes them happy. If you need to talk to somebody you should. And never blame yourself. Sometimes things just don’t work out. And never use your parents failed relationships as a way of thinking your relationships won’t work out.
Find out how to deal with family separation.
Interview by SpunOut.ie volunteer, Claire.
*Names of interviewee changed to protect identities.
This article is part of the SpunOut.ie true life stories section – a space for young people to share their experiences of tough times and encourage others to seek help. This story is just one person's experience and it may be different for you. Remember that no matter what you are going through, there is help and support available. See the Find help section for more information: http://www.spunout.ie/help/
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