My 2009
True life: I got my confidence back.
2009 is over. Another year gone by, eh? I don’t know how ‘oh-nine’ will stand out as being a great year for anybody else, but for me it was pretty massive. I achieved a lot of things this year: I went on my first holiday without my parents, I was on TV and best of all (in my opinion) I got my confidence back.
Ok, you’re probably thinking ‘whatever’ but for me it was a big thing. I’ve always considered myself to be fairly confident, but somewhere along the line I became someone I didn’t recognise. I turned from a happy-go-lucky lass to a mope rock-listening moaner who refused to do anything except complain and watch Home and Away. I was so afraid of what everyone thought of me and felt like whatever I did was going to be laughed at anyway, so what was the point? Anyone who has ever been self-confident knows it’s a complete kick in the crotch to lose that. Especially when you have it so bad that you feel you can’t do anything about it.
It wasn’t just in my head either; my family noticed and even the teachers in my school. My mum came back from a parent-teacher meeting where the general consensus was that I was under-confident. Apart from stating the obvious, my teachers had a point. If my confidence was so low that even people who didn’t know me could tell, it was probably time to do something about it.
Easier said than done. It’s not like you can just pop down to the shops and pick up a six-pack of Confidence! Apparently it’s a little harder than that. So I sat down and gave myself a mental kick up the arse. I couldn’t wait for the world to make me happy, I had to do it myself. It was attitude overhaul time!
The first thing I needed was an ego boost, nothing gets the confidence going like it! Making a list of your best qualities may sound incredibly sappy but it also works. You have to believe in yourself before anybody else will. I know what it feels like when everything seems so crap that even getting out of bed is futile, but I also know that doing something about it is even better.
It took a while, but I finally feel that I’m back to my old self. When I got my confidence back I was finally able to enter a writing competition, something I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing before - and I won!
I still have those days where I think everyone is laughing at me, but most of the time me and my now over-inflated ego feel like we can take over the world. We totally can, by the way!
By: Dearbhaile
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Posted by : crazylove - 25 days ago
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