My story of bullying
True life: Even if this only helps one person, it will still be worth it.
My story starts off with my childhood years. Supposed to be the best? Not at all. Tormented since the age of four by bullies. Yeah, I know, people often say you can’t be bullied when you’re four. But of course you can. Bullying is any form of someone making you feel worthless, and that’s how I felt. And not really having anyone to talk to didn’t help.
My mam suffered from depression, and I always felt she was emotionally unavailable from a young age. I won’t even start about my dad. So my problems started from a young age. And I grew up with them.
Everyday going into school, feeling my stomach twist into knots, trying to make my parents believe I was “sick”, having to deal with being called “fat” and “stupid” and crap like that. (I know now that I was neither fat nor stupid). Being sensitive didn’t help either. It got to the stage where I couldn’t trust people, being so paranoid that they were only pretending to be nice to me, and that soon enough I would be tormented by them also.
This horrible feeling stayed with me up until secondary school. I met the most amazing friends there, who still stick by me to this day. Even after all I’ve put them through. Second year of school was awful. I was feeling so bad by this stage that I’d started self-harming on a daily basis. It was the only thing I felt I had control over. And this way, I felt I could control the amount of pain I received, not anybody else.
But, it became an addiction. I couldn’t stop, even if I wanted to. And so came the stage of overdose number one. I was 14 at the time.
My boyfriend had broken up with me, and I was hanging around with a bunch of fake people. One girl in particular was trying to eliminate me from the group. She had spread lies about me, and told me I was useless.
Sadly, I believed her, and I attempted suicide. I was lucky I lived. It was the most horrible experience of my life. Over the next few years, suicide attempts became a frequent thing.
Until I met my boyfriend. He was so supportive, and was always there when I needed to talk. I stopped self harming while I was with him, and felt good about myself. But he left, and I overdosed again. Thankfully, for the last time. I realised I couldn’t keep putting the ones I loved through this pain. So I started self help. I made a list of all the things that bothered me and made me feel upset and stressed. I came off my medication, because of the side effects. I started talking to people.
Seriously, please, if you feel upset or down, please talk to someone. Even if you just write down how you’re feeling, it can help. But please, never feel like you’re alone because there’s always someone there for you. You only get one life, make the most of it.
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