Life changing
True life: Finding a new lease on life.
Look this is kind of hard to write, but I’ll give it a go…
I’ve had this on my mind for years, so I think it’s time to let go. My family is what you may call dysfunctional. I mean of course I love them- my mum, da, bro and sis. But my extended family, i.e. aunts, uncles and cousins, are another story.
My Dad comes from a big family of five brothers and six sisters. About three years ago my nanny reluctantly went into a nursing home, but now she is down there… doesn’t know what’s going on around her and doesn’t care. She never wanted to go, but all the family, bar my dad, pushed her into going. I remember her saying “No, I don’t want to” and that will stick forever in my mind. It breaks my heart, and to add to this crippling feeling, they sent my granda down to the same place, and basically took all his land and sent him into a home. My granda was an alcoholic, but even so, I learned so much from him, valuable things that I will carry-out through life. My granda passed away two months ago.
Since then I have found things out- my uncle was murdered by my other uncle many years ago; my cousin stabbed someone and fled the country; and I was abused when I was a child of eight. Of course, I knew this last part, but I was forced to keep quiet and I thought it was normal until two months ago when I realised it certainly was not normal.
You may find this strange as I am a girl of 16 and should know right from wrong. But even though I have learned all the wrongs things about abuse … it never actually clicked… it was as if it was a normal thing to do or something.
I’m sorry I can’t explain it, but I know now and I have seen that it has ruined my life. I have attempted suicide three times in the last four years and it was only until yesterday that I have found a new lease on life.
Ian, one of Spunout.ie’s Project Workers came to our school in Tubbercurry and told us about SpunOut.ie and his inspirational life story. I have come to think of ways I can help myself in the short space of a day. That’s why I am writing this article.
Ian you have, I think, saved my life. I idolise and respect you sincerely. Thank you for everything.
By: Anonymous
If you need to talk to someone right now then contact one of these organisations for confidential support 24 hours a day- no matter your age or where you are.
SpunOut.ie Forum www.spunout.ie/forum/
The SpunOut.ie forum is for young people to chat, debate and share their experiences in a FRIENDLY and NON-JUDGMENTAL space. The forum is moderated by SpunOut.ie staff and volunteers.
The Rape Crisis Network gives support to victims or rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse. There is also supportive information on sexual abuse here.
Samaritans PHONE: 1850 609090
(Northern Ireland PHONE: 08457 909090)
Email: jo@samaritans.org
Web: www.samaritans.org
Samaritans provide confidential, non-judgemental support, 24 hours a day for people experiencing feelings of distress or despair, including those which could lead to suicide.
ChildLine FREEPHONE: 1800 66 66 66
Talk to ChildLine online.
Web: www.childline.ie
Childline is a 24-hour a day service for young people up to 18. Childline offer support to young people through their listening service over the phone and through the website. You can call Childline for a chat or to talk about any problems you might have.
See the Need help now? factsheet for information on some of the main support organisations and services available.
This article is part of the SpunOut.ie true life stories section – a space for young people to share their experiences of tough times and encourage others to seek help. This story is just one person's experience and it may be different for you. Remember that no matter what you are going through, there is help and support available. See the Find help section for more information: http://www.spunout.ie/help/
Photo- from Flickr, jackatothemon
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