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Danish, Spanish, Irish, Russian: I do not know!
The journey to discover who I am.
Do you know that feeling where you wake up and think of one specific thing and cannot think about anything else? I had that feeling the other morning when I woke up. I was thinking “Who am I right now? Am I the Danish girl Susannah Keller Finn or am I the Irish girl Susannah Finn?” Now you might think what is the difference? It is just a name after all. But you would be wrong; it is so much more than that! As a girl with a Danish mother and an Irish father I have dual citizenship, and, until four months ago I considered myself 99.9% Danish. Now things have changed, but I have not found out what the outcome is yet.
Education is important to me. As all the smart people say: “education is the foundation of the rest of your life”, so when it came to deciding what to do with the rest of my life I dived in and followed my dream. My dream is strongly attached to that 0.1% that is left if you remove all the Danish bits – my dream is Irish and it is Trinity College! I remember as a little girl dreaming about studying at Trinity and wearing the “not very me” pink sweaters they have with a logo. If I actually get accepted, I might even go so far as to wear one!
As I grew up though, I thought more about parties, handbags and shoes than about Trinity. At least, until the day my teacher caught me sleeping in class (which to my defence did not happen that often), woke me up, and asked “So, what is the plan for the rest of your life?”
I knew a bit of the plan involved going to college to study environmental science. Unfortunately, you cannot study that in Denmark and I had no plans for after I completed the course anyway. How to apply for college, and how to fix the economical situation were not exactly planned either. And right about that time, I became 10% Irish and only 90% Danish. Two months later, my first Irish passport arrived and already I was about 20% Irish. Four months ago I moved to Dublin and by that time I considered myself around 40% Irish. By now, I think I have lost track of the percentage!
Because you see: four months ago I was the Danish teenager Susannah Keller Finn, living at home, working as a substitute teacher, hanging out with my amazing friends. Now, I am Susannah Finn (what is it about Ireland and no middle names by the way? I actually happen to like my middle name), living in my own apartment in Dublin, working in multimillionaire company IBM and hanging out with my pen and my diary on Friday nights! Big changes, huh?
Earlier, I wrote that I am no longer sure of who exactly I am at the moment and that is true, but I actually – believe it or not, like it! Who knew it could be so much fun to be both Irish and Danish? I can now stuff myself with Danish pastry, play with Lego, sing Aqua songs while yelling "Cheers Paddy – one more Guinness” and look at the beautiful scenery of Ireland.
Am I sure that I am more Danish than Irish (or the other way around for that matter)? Am I sure that Trinity is worth being so far away from all of my friends for? Am I sure that I can handle being so far from my family for so long? The answers are: no, no and no! But, if you never try you will never succeed.
Living in Dublin on my own, waiting for the magical letter telling me whether or not I get in to Trinity College, I am kind of weighing the Danish and the Irish side. I do not like bacon and liquorice, so maybe I am mostly Irish, the again I do not like beer and lamb – maybe maybe maybe I should get myself a third citizenship? Then again, I loooove paella and fiesta so maybe I am more Spanish?
Who knows at this stage!?
By: Susannah Keller Finn
