Facing reality
Youth Voice: Don't make the same mistakes I did.
I started off smoking fags at the age of 14 to try and fit in with the people I went to school with. I was not very popular with anyone in my class so I would try and fit in anywhere I could- later I found out this was the biggest mistake of my life.
Through the years, I always let people push me around. The anger of it all built up inside me for ages and when I had my first drink at the age of 14, it all came out in fighting. I loved it; I could get away from being me and hide my fear of everything behind my anger.
I met my first girlfriend at an early age. She broke my heart and since then I have never trusted any girl who I went out with, I was always paranoid that they would be cheating on me. That’s when I found drugs and I loved them more than any girl. They made me forget about everything that bothered me and put me into a world of my own, where no one could upset me.
This continued through my teenage years- always trying to find a better buzz, trying to beat the last one so I could have stories to tell of what I saw on acid. The people that I hung around with were people that lived for drugs and the party life. If they didn’t live up to this I would drop them as a friend.
I thought this life was great because I was getting the attention that I always wanted with people ringing me all day and all night for stuff. I never made any money on them I just made more drugs for me and that suited me down to the ground. As long as I got to keep away from reality I was happy.
This later backfired on me because I got into debt with dealers, which meant that I had to get more stuff to sell. It is a cut throat business and you have to do what they say or else. So, I got money off different people to pay the dealers and it was settled. But I had to keep going, I couldn’t stop- it was killing me. Little did I know how it was all going to end down the road.
Soon enough the guards got involved with everything. I lost my job, my car and my girlfriend, and it wasn’t even started yet. Just a few weeks later I got caught with an unreal amount of drugs and got arrested. This was the end of the line for me. My whole wasted life flashed before my eyes. I didn’t know what to do. I had to keep my mouth shut or die. So I did. I never said a name and still had to pay for the drugs or die.
So, here I am today: sitting around with no friends, no job, no car and 50,000 euros worth of debt over my head. Waiting to be sent to prison for a good few years. I wasted my teen years on drugs and now I am going to be wasting my adult years in jail.
This it not a life to lead. Don’t make the same mistakes I did- be yourself and don’t hide it from anyone.
See the alcohol & drugs section for lots of supportive information.
See the help section for supportive information and contacts details of support organisations.
If you or someone you know has an urgent drugs and/or alcohol problem, for example: taken an overdose, fear the drug has been contaminated or experienced an unusual reaction to a drug then you should immediately: Go to the casualty unit of the nearest hospital or CALL 999 Emergency Services.
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National Drugs & H.I.V Helpline 1800 459 459
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www.dap.ie providing information, support and counselling in relation to drugs, substance misuse or addiction.
By:Anonymous
This article is part of the SpunOut.ie true life stories section – a space for young people to share their experiences of tough times and encourage others to seek help. This story is just one person's experience and it may be different for you. Remember that no matter what you are going through, there is help and support available. See the Find help section for more information: http://www.spunout.ie/help/
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