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10 do's and don'ts of bedroom comms
Opinion: Top tips on communicating effectively with your partner.
It’s not always easy to communicate on the topic of sex, so here are some tips to get you started:
- DON’T criticise your partner’s methods. Mood killer much, not to mention the blow you will be inflicting on their self esteem!
- DO suggest, beginning your suggestion on a positive note. For example, “That feels really good, but do you know what would feel even better...?”
- DON’T divulge the details of the amazing sex life you had with your ex, in the hope that your partner picks up some tips.
- DO offer some gentle physical guidance. Actions speak louder than words.
- DON’T be afraid to be vocal when they do something you like. (Don’t turn into a member of the GLEE club though!)
- DO talk openly about your sex life. The more you communicate about sex, the more relaxed you and your partner will become. This will only be a positive step towards reaching the big O!
- DON’T confide in mutual friends about your unsatisfactory sex life. If this gets back to your partner, they will see it as a major breach of trust, and this could result in the end of your relationship.
- DO tactfully introduce the idea of sex toys, if you feel your sex life could do with some spicing up! Nothing ventured, nothing gained!
- DON’T use drink or drugs to lower your inhibitions before either having sex or bringing up the topic of sex with your partner. Being drunk or high may lower your inhibitons during sex, but your girlfriend will soon feel that you can only be intimate with her when your beer/drug goggles are well and truly strapped on (No pun intended!). We all know that trying to have a serious conversation with someone who is out of it is frustrating to say the least, not to mention a massive turn off!
- DO, as Take That say, “have a little patience”. It will happen!
By: Christine Allen
