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Premature ejaculation
Causes of and how to deal with premature ejaculation.
Premature ejaculation is the medical term for cumming (orgasming) too soon during sex or the build up to sex. The usual time for cumming is about 5 to 9 minutes but this can differ hugely from person to person. This is still a bit of a taboo subject, even though it is the MOST common sexual problem in men, especially in young men.
What causes Premature Ejaculation?
- Anxiety, stress, taking medication or not having had sex in a long time can all cause premature ejaculation.
- If you are worried or anxious about cumming (orgasm) then the extra stress can make it even more difficult. Try to relax and enjoy foreplay and being with your partner instead of concentrating on orgasm.
- Physical conditions or illness including diabetes, spinal injuries, prostate or urethra infections and multiple sclerosis can also be the cause of premature ejaculation.
- Relationship difficulties, sexual insecurity or a lack of communication with your partner can contribute to premature ejaculation.
Getting it sorted:
- Although it's embarrassing, if premature ejaculation is worrying you then you should talk to a doctor about treatment. You might be treated for a physical ailment, advised to try techniques for relaxing or referred to counselling for the problem.
- Relax and talk openly with your partner about everything you do in bed.
- Don't rush into sex, spend plenty of time on foreplay and even ban sex for a while so that you can stop stressing about the act itself and just enjoy being with your partner.
- Learning to recognise the moment of cumming (orgasming) and controlling the penis can help make sex last for longer.
- Practise a stop start technique (stopping stimulation or slowing down before cumming and then waiting until you're less excited) to help control excitement. Try practising the stop start technique when you're masturbating to get confidence and then practice during sex.
- You can also try the squeeze technique. Your partner squeezes the base of the penis when you feel you're about to cum (orgasm). Ask them to gently squeeze until the feeling of cumming has gone. Repeat this until you feel more in control during sex.
- Most men last longer if they have already cum once. If you're partner is willing, try having sex a second time as soon as your penis is hard again.
