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The love jungle
Survival is not for the fittest but for those who come prepared and with a plan.
I have some shocking news. Brace yourself. Men are not from Mars and women are not from Venus. Both species are native to Earth and have been sharing the planet for a couple of thousand of years now.
Blow your mind kind of stuff? Maybe not… Then why do we find it so hard to live together? And why do we feel we have to buy books, watch TV shows and write into magazine Agony Aunts to find that foolproof guide to the opposite of sex?
Well shock, horror- there is no foolproof guide. You can try being nice to someone and they will go off and marry the person with the criminal record. You can play hard to get and they will go off with your best friend because they thought you had no interest. You can come right out and tell someone you like them but it can turn them off.
However, what we do know is that you’re not going to meet someone sitting on your own in front of the television or computer screen. Get out there. Even if its to the local Internet café. Surrounding yourself with people is the first step to actually meeting someone. Obvious, maybe, but how many nights have you sat in on your own? Curfews and strict parents can be a problem but if you’re allowed one night a week out, go somewhere, anywhere! Grab some friends and head to the park, the cinema or get cup of coffee- socialise.
So now that you are outside, the next big question is what do you want? Knowing what you want sets you on the right track. Do you want the sporty type? Then join a gym or sign up for the local tag-rugby team. Maybe you want the musical type. Well then there are record stores, local venues, you could even learn to play an instrument. The arty folks will found in galleries, libraries and local cafes. Personally speaking, there is nothing better than learning a new skill to find someone new.
Once you have spotted someone the fun can really begin. The first thing to do is to make sure you have caught their eye. I’m not going to say make an impression because there is a fine line between eye-catching and taking someone’s eye out with your javelin skills (it’s a long story, just trust me).
The best way is to be uncomplicated. ‘Hello’, ‘hi’ or ‘I like your Smiths t-shirt’ can work a charm. Do not skulk after your object of affection while you try to think of something to say, nothing screams ‘bumbling muttering nutter’ like hanging around bumbling and muttering away like a nutter. Have something simple planned and then say it.
After that it is up to them to respond. If they do, great, you have got yourself a conversation. If not, bummer, keep moving buddy. They may just be shy but if they like you they will get over it and will eventually say something back to you. If not, then sorry to be harsh, but it’s not happening. Thankfully, all you said was something nice and you did not make a fool of yourself.
If the conversation goes well, great. You can tell a lot about someone from the first conversation. This is why looks are not important. Someone can be a stunner but if they are boring you might as well go bang your head off pebbledash. My theory is people look their best when they are being interesting.
So, that’s got you started. Arrange to go for a cup of tea or to one of those things that you both have in common. It might not be a date but it is a start. And it has got to be a hell of a lot better than sitting at home wishing for something to happen!
By: Brid Ryan
