Open relationships

Is free love for you?

An open relationship is a relationship where both parties agree to see other people. An open relationship is very different to cheating because there is no lying or deceit involved. Both people in an open relationship are aware that their partner is having some form of a sexual relationship with others. It is possible to have a solid and committed open relationship.

As with all relationship and sexual issues, make your own decisions and don’t allow yourself to be pressured into anything.

Possible issues to be aware of before agreeing to an open relationship:

Make sure YOU really want it. Usually, the idea of an open relationship is brought up by one person and the other person may not be as keen to do it. So, if your partner suddenly asks for an open relationship, have a long think before you pursue it. If you enter into an open relationship without really wanting it, you could end up pretty hurt.
Think about jealousy. Are you a naturally jealous person? Or are you at one with the green eyed monster? Bear in mind that even the most secure person could find themselves grappling with jealousy in an open relationship. You might feel fine and dandy if your partner flirts with someone else, but it’s a long journey from flirting to sleeping with someone else.
Test the waters. It may seem like a great idea in theory, but it may not pan out in practice. Keep the lines of communication open with your partner.
Know that it ain’t always easy. An open relationship may put strain on your relationship and bring to light any little issues that were lurking in the background. Cracks can become gaping craters.

How to manage an open relationship:

Be honest and have some integrity. There is a massive difference between sleeping with someone and letting your other half know and an affair with your flatmate, which you hide from your partner.
Make some ground rules. These rules will vary from couple to couple of course; but some general ones may include not sleeping with family members and friends, keeping sex with others outside your shared bedroom and telling your partner when you sleep with someone else.
Practice safe sex at all times. You don’t want to end up with an STD in the name of sexual excitement.
Keep to the ground rules you set.
Communicate. Make sure to talk things over. Despite your best efforts, an open relationship may not be for you.
Explore feelings of unease. An open relationship may make you feel uncomfortable because you think your partner will leave you, it may make you feel unattractive or you may worry about getting an STD. Whatever the issue, talk it all out.
Enjoy it! Open relationships are a relatively modern concept in our part of the world, so enjoy the sexual freedom.

At the end of the day, an open relationship may be perfect for you, and it works for some. But, if an open relationship is not for you, be prepared to talk it over with your partner and bow out with pride and grace. There are other ways to spice up a relationship besides opening it up to others.

Further Information:

www.yoursexualhealth.ie/your-sexual-health-check-up

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See the help section for contact details of support organisations.