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Peer pressure - youth voice
Youth voice: The hardest person to stand up for is yourself.
When you think of peer pressure, you might think of sex, drugs and alcohol. Images of teenagers being pressurised to use hash or have boyfriends/girlfriends are common. But this is just the tip of the iceberg.
Peer pressure can be anything. I have one friend who recently was very disappointed in me for taking drugs. He'd never imagine for a second that maybe I just wanted to experiment, but instead saw me as just being “stupid”, almost as though I was beneath him. Whereas my other, much more laid-back friend who gave me the drugs wouldn't have cared if I'd taken them or not, saw it as being my choice and my choice alone. My first friend saw his choice as being right and mine wrong. But there isn't a right or wrong with choices – the only wrong thing is to make one that's not your own.
Another example of not-so-obvious peer pressure happens when you're about 12 or 13 (could be older or younger depending on where you live) and you're expected to “be” with people (in other words shift or kiss them). This is all well and good if you feel like it. But if you don't, you could get called “frigid” or some other charming word.
And it can feel like pure shite not being the same as other people in your group. If you're the only one who doesn't drink, you might get a friend coming up and saying to you drunkenly “You're shoooo cool, I wish I was like you,” but it won't exactly make you feel much better about it. Sex is always on the cards as well. As with what happened with me, one of your friends might do it, then another, and another, till it seems like you're the only one left in the world who hasn't done it and it can make you feel strange and weird and awkward.
It can take a long time to grow past all that crap and be proud of who you truly are. Well not proud as in you go round shouting “Hey everybody!!! I'm a pioneer virgin!! Amn't I COOL??!”. Just knowing who you are, respecting yourself and realizing that your opinions and your choices are as good as anyone else's and that no one can force you into doing something you don't want to do.
And I could do all that Dr. Phil crap (“Eh, haven't you already?” I hear you mumble) and tell you what a special and important person you are, but you already know that. Just start believing it.
Remember: The hardest person to stand up for is yourself.
Anonymous
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