Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
Parent pressure
Does it ever feel like an all our war with your folks?
Relationships between parents and their children can be complicated to say the least. Parents can be very supportive, encouraging and caring, but they can also be a right pain in the ass. They may nag you, give out to you, pressurise you or misunderstand you. Sometimes it may just seem like an all out war with the folks.
How to cope when your parents are on your case:
- Remember, they do love ya! As hard as it may be, try to remember that your parents usually do have your best interests at heart. If your parents are generally caring and loving, it is highly unlikely that they are out to get you and make your life a misery. They are probably just trying to look out for your best interests in the long term.
- Stick to the basics of what your parents want you to do. So, if they want you to do homework immediately after school, get crackin’ on it. THEN when you are finished, you can do other fun stuff like chat to your friends or go on the net. This is preferable to wasting time arguing with your parents and ending up having to do things their way anyway!
- Try to stay calm! This may be very hard. However, you are more likely to get places with your parents (or anyone for that matter) if you sit down and have a logical discussion instead of a loud fight. Avoid “You” statements and instead use “I” statements such as “I would like to stay out past 10pm on a Friday, as I feel that I would be able to be responsible” instead of “Why can’t you let me stay out past 10pm on a Friday?”
- Go halfway. In an ideal world, we would all get what we want, but we usually need to compromise. It’s kind of like an auction – start with your preferred offer and be prepared to negotiate. So, you may not get your wish to go on a week long holiday to Ibiza granted, but you might be allowed stay over at theirs for a few days or go on the holiday with some adults.
- Be clear about what you want. Your parents may jump to the wrong conclusions if you are not specific enough. For example, there is a big difference between saying you want to get a permanent tattoo versus a henna one. If you don’t make the distinction clear, how will your parents know?
- Open your mind to other options. Yes you had your heart set on Plan A, but your parent’s Plan B may have to do and may be a good option too.
- Bring in back-up! Can you talk to a teacher, counsellor, relative or family friend about it and get them to help you speak to your parents about the issue?
