Making an ass of yourself

Opinion: How to recover from rejection.

Okay. So the mood is merry, the drinks are flowing and smiles and laughter abounds. You’ve finally worked up your inebriated courage to go chat to that sexy thing on the other side of the room.

You cross the floor. You feel untouchable. You approach the stud or skirt with a smile. A part of your sober self perhaps feels that tinge of “Oh my God, am I really doing this?” You proceed without caution nonetheless. Fearless, you revert to tunnel vision, pacing towards your mission: how to win over this amazing person, this person whom in your mind you have made into a demi-god.

You babble out a bit of something that in your boozy mind seems to sound cute and charming. You’re feeling confident. How could this hottie not recognise your appeal, right? You’re on a roll. Perhaps you get a smile or laugh out of ‘em. In the bag, right?

Then, WHAM! You get a slap across the face, a turn of the head, a roll of the eyes, a giggle to their pesky friend beside them, or perhaps worst of all for the slightly confused punter, the more subtle… “Ummm, ummm, I was actually just leaving…”

You, my friend, have been REJECTED!

You may feel like you want to cry, but chances are you’ll be in too much shock to know how to turn on the water works. Being rejected is one of our greatest fears and toughest lessons to learn. It is basically someone saying, “I’m not overly impressed by you and I don’t care to get to know you.” Ouch! Self-esteem gutted like a bloody fish.

But, there is a lesson in the pain. When rejection gives you a heavy-weight sucker punch (and yes, even the sexiest and most charming of us will experience the bitter taste of rejection) we’ve got to get our wounded egos together again.

A few tips:

Blame it on the drink. (Just kidding! But do remember that a blubbering lush is unlikely to win over anyone’s heart or libido.)
Don’t take it so personally! Perhaps the other person just isn’t interested in any type of relationship at the moment. They could be fresh out of a relationship, in one already or just looking to have a night out with mates, no side dishes included.
Stop obsessing. It’s human instinct to focus on the negative things that people say about us or do to us. You may find yourself replaying the rejection saga over and over again. Don’t. It’s like poking a bruise. Save yourself the pain and soreness.
Recall that you too have been the ‘rejector’. We all reserve the right to take a pass on others who just aren’t our cuppa tea, so keep in mind that what will be will be.
Throw your hands up. Sometimes, the explanation for rejection is just baffling! You feel you’ve got loads to offer, and you just don’t get why the object of your affection isn’t biting. It’s like watching your favourite football club lose to a team at the bottom of the League - it’s okay to just scratch your head in confusion and awe sometimes.
Believe that you are amazing. Why let others be in control of how we feel about ourselves? A more steady sense of self worth (which is incredibly sexy!) will reveal itself if we value ourselves at all times without the constant need for approval from others.
Treat it like a job interview. Didn’t get it? No bother, consider it interview practice to land the ‘job’ that really suits you better anyway!
Surround yourself with people who validate that you’re incredible. And grab a friend for a proper rant if that helps you heal!

By: Itjustwasntmeanttobe

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