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Being in the closet
Afraid to open the doors.
It all started when I was 11.
I was on my bike and I remember cycling around my corner. There was this girl there, she was so pretty, she was about 13, but I didn’t care. I knew I had a crush on her, the only problem was that I was a girl too! I was so embarrassed.
I’m still ashamed of my sexuality. I don’t want to be gay, no offence to anyone who is, it’s just that I come from a large, very Dublin family. Being gay isn’t a hot topic around the Sunday dinner table. Noone knows about this, and I’ve tried keeping it on the D-l.
But last year, I was starting a new school, and this girl was so friendly, so we instantly became best-friends. She was so 'likeable'. But I had to pretend to hate her, which obviously drew her closer to me. To this day though, I still can’t look her in the eye, because, somewhere along the way I knew I started to like like her.
She got herself an older boyfriend (I don’t date guys, I only flirt), but she’s in love with him, and every time I’m near her, or she hugs me, I envy him so much. I’m not ready to tell people about my sexuality, and I believe it’s every person’s own right to keep it private, but, it’s driving me mad! Sex blows, literally!
By: idork
Further information:
Being gay in Ireland
Should I tell?
Coming out
Sexuality myths
