Stalkers

What is stalking?

What is stalking?

Stalking is defined as any form of unwanted and persistent attention from one person towards another. In Ireland, stalking is considered a form of harassment and is legally covered under the Domestic Violence Act 1996.
The key difference between the attention of a stalker and the attention of a friend/partner/potential love interest is that the stalker’s attention is excessive and/or unwanted. A potential date may text you a few times a day or send you one card; not text you multiple times an hour. Also, if you make it clear you are not interested or do not want contact, a ‘normal person’ will take the hint and leave you alone. With stalkers, it’s not so easy.
Stalking may start out in a slow and subtle way and take place over a long period of time.
Many stalkers believe that the object of their affection cares for them and wants a relationship/friendship with them. So they don’t give up easily. Stalking is of course very frightening, but according to statistics, most stalkers don’t set out to frighten you; they only threaten to try and get their way.
Many stalkers are ex boyfriends/girlfriends. In fact this is the most common form of stalking.

Signs of stalking

Following you or randomly appearing at your workplace or home, without you inviting them
Constant phone calls or texts
Constant emails or letters; even graffiti
Sending gifts – these may range from the obvious/traditional gifts such as flowers, to more frightening gifts
Direct threats of harm, threats towards you or your family/friends

What to do if you are being stalked?

Let the stalker know in no uncertain terms that you do NOT want any form of contact with him/her. Be direct and even blunt. Keep it respectful, but do not allow the stalker to think he has any chance with you. Ever. False hope will only lead to continued stalking.
Ignore. Ignore. Ignore. No matter what the stalker says or does, do not engage with him. You may feel very angry or frustrated and want to let him know that his letters/cards are not wanted. However if you do that, you will just be getting into a kind of relationship with him, which is what he wants.
Don’t listen to people who try to tell you that the stalker is just an overzealous romantic. No matter what the reason, it is never right for anyone to stalk you. Ever.
Keep a record of any and all stalking behaviour. Write down dates and times that the stalker contacts you and what he says/does. Also note any cards or gifts he gives you. Record any voice messages left on your phone.
Keep in mind that every stalking situation is different. Contact your local Gardaí for advice on what to do. Some stalkers will get worse if they are threatened by the Gardaí while others will stop. Therefore it is important that you seek professional advice before doing anything.

Further Information

Garda.ie

West Cork womens project