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Sexual abuse
If you're forced into any sort of unwanted sexual contact then this is sexual abuse.
Even though it involves sex or the build up to sex, abuse has nothing to do with love. It’s about aggression and power, the power of one person over another.
You can be sexually abused at any age and it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman. Usually the person who abuses is someone you know.
The Rape Crisis Network gives support to victims of rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse. They can go with you to the Gardai or police, listen to you or make sure you get counselling. There is also professional help available from your local Health Board.
If you've experienced any form of sexual abuse it can be very difficult to talk about it. People often describe feelings of guilt, shame, anger, disgust and even disbelief. There can be worries about what will happen to you or the person involved if you speak out. It is unbelievably difficult for any young person who is the victim of incest (when the abuser is a family member). People who have been abused will often fear that they won't be believed if they tell someone. However. it is very important not to let this fear stop you from getting help. See here for information on escaping an abusive situation.
If you have been sexually abused or raped:
- Tell someone you trust, even if you were abused in the past but have never spoken about it.
- If you’ve been assaulted or raped (or think you might have been) then report it to the police immediately. Don’t worry if you were drunk or taking drugs, the assault is much more serious.
- You have the right to ask for a male or female garda, police officer or doctor.
- When you’re reporting the attack you can ask for as many breaks as you want and leave the station any time you want.
- Reporting a crime means you’ll be asked a lot of detailed questions and should carefully read through your statement when it’s finished to make sure there are no mistakes.
- There are rape crisis centres where you can speak to someone confidentially if you’ve been raped or abused. The centres give support to victims of rape, sexual abuse or child sexual abuse. They can go with you to the Gardai or the police, listen to you or help in any way possible.
- Remember that it’s never your fault even if you feel guilty.
- If you think you’ve been drug raped ask for a medical examination or urine sample to be taken so they can check for traces of the drug.
How a person reacts to sexual abuse or rape is different for everyone and it can take a long time to deal with what happened.
- You might feel disbelief, numb, frightened, powerless, ashamed, disgusted with yourself or humiliated.
- You might feel guilty and responsible for what happened or blame yourself for letting it happen.
- You might want to be alone and feel unable to tell anyone that you were sexually abused.
- You might have nightmares or flashbacks about what happened and find it difficult to get involved with anyone else.
- You might become self destructive or out of control: drinking too much or taking drugs, getting an eating disorder, self-harming or having sex with more people than usually.
See the help section for supportive information and contacts details of support organisations.
