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Neglect
Neglect is the most difficult form of abuse to describe.
Article by : SpunOut.ie
It happens when you don’t have enough food, supervision or care from an adult, clothing, medical care or somewhere warm and clean to live. If a parent or carer doesn’t give you emotional support or very little attention then this is emotional neglect.
Neglect can be:
- You sometimes come home and find there’s no food.
- Your parents never bring you to the doctor even if you feel seriously ill.
- You’re often left alone for a long time (not just when your mother’s gone shopping) and don’t know where your parents are or don’t know when they’ll return.
- You spend a lot of time minding younger brothers or sisters because your parents don’t want to do it, aren’t able to or aren’t there to do it. (You’re probably expected to help mind them sometimes but it shouldn’t be all the time).
- You don’t have a warm jacket in winter or you grow out of your clothes and nobody gets you new stuff. It’s not neglect if your parents refuse to buy you expensive clothes or shoes!
Escaping abuse
If you're in an abusive relationship or live with domestic violence then you need to get help and escape from the situation.
- Tell someone you trust about the abuse and ask them to support you or go with you to the Gardai or police.
- If you can’t tell anyone that you know, you can speak confidentially with Samaritans.
- If the abuser is someone you know and love, it can be very difficult to speak out against what’s happening. Remember that even if they are nice most of the time, abuse is illegal and you shouldn’t have to ever put up with it.
- Sometimes an abuser will threaten to harm you or someone you love if you tell anyone what’s happening. They might say things like “I’ll kill you if you say anything”, “Nobody will believe you”, “This is our secret” or “I’ll hurt your brother if you say anything”. These threats are a way of frightening you into silence. If you tell the Gardai or police they can make sure that you and other family members are safe from harm.
- If you don’t tell someone about the abuse it will probably continue.
- If the abuser is living in your home then you might need a temporary place to live in safety. There are refuges for victims of abuse and the Gardai or police will be able to help you. If you’re under 18 you can get help from social services.
- Telling someone you’re being abused doesn’t meant that you’ll be taken away from your family. Social Services will try to work out a situation that means you are safe from abuse, but still with your family.
- The women’s refuge or A.M.E.N. (for men) can offer you emergency accommodation.
- Even after the abuse has stopped you might have emotional or self-confidence problems. Visit a counsellor to help sort out your feelings.
