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Male sexual abuse
If you're forced into any sort of unwanted sexual contact then this is sexual abuse.
If you're forced into any sort of unwanted sexual contact then this is sexual abuse. Even though it involves sex or the build up to sex, abuse has nothing to do with love. It’s about aggression and power, the power of one person over another. You can be sexually abused at any age and it doesn’t matter if you’re a man or woman. Usually the person who abuses is someone you know.
The Rape Crisis Network gives support to victims of rape, sexual assault and child sexual abuse. They can go with you to the Gardai or police, listen to you or make sure you get counselling.
Usually when we talk about sexual abuse it’s supposed that women are always the victims and men the abusers. This makes if very difficult for men or boys to tell someone if they’ve been abused or raped.
If you have been sexually abuse or raped:
- Tell someone you trust, even if you were abused in the past but have never spoken about it.
- Contact Survivors UK for confidential advice and support. This organisation is specifically for men who’ve been sexually abused.
- If you’ve been assaulted or raped (or think you might have been) then report it to the police immediately. Don’t worry if you were drunk or taking drugs, the assault is much more serious.
- You have the right to ask for a male or female garda, police officer or doctor. When you’re reporting the attack you can ask for as many breaks as you want and leave the station any time you want. You’ll be asked a lot of detailed questions and should carefully read through your statement when it’s finished to make sure there are no mistakes.
- There are rape crisis centres where you can speak to someone confidentially if you’ve been raped or abused. The centres give support to victims of rape, sexual abuse or child sexual abuse. They can accompany you to the Gardai or the police, listen to you or help in any way possible.
- Remember that it’s never your fault even if you feel guilty.
- Abuse or rape doesn’t affect your sexuality. It doesn’t matter if you’re gay or straight, the attack won’t change this.
- Some victims might get an erection or ejaculate (cum) during the attack. This is an involuntary reaction by the body and doesn’t mean you enjoyed the attack or wanted it to happen.
- If you think you’ve been drug raped ask for a medical examination or urine sample to be taken so they can check for traces of the drug.
- See here for information on escaping an abusive situation.
How you react to sexual abuse or rape is different for everyone and it can take a long time for you to deal with what happened.
- You might feel disbelief, numb, frightened, powerless, ashamed, disgusted with yourself or humiliated.
- You might feel guilty and responsible for what happened or blaming yourself for letting it happen.
- You might want to be alone and feel unable to tell anyone that you were sexually abused.
- You might have nightmares or flashbacks about what happened and find it difficult to get involved with anyone else.
- You might become self destructive or out of control: drinking too much or taking drugs
See the help section for contacts details of support organisations.
