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***LAUNCH: project: BreakUP***
Celebrating romantic relationships (past, present and future).
Birds do it, bees do it, even educated fleas do it. They all fall in love. But what drives our interest in love and romance? For one thing, the experience of romance or the prospect thereof is associated with warm, fuzzy (sexy!) feelings. Put simply, it has the potential to evoke in us all that the recession does not. Not only does romance offer a natural antidote to the recession blues but it presents us with an opportunity to share with and be close to someone nice. The draw towards love and romance may also reflect our sense that it is cool to have relationships outside of the family; to be part of something that is ours. And if fuzzy feelings and a break from the parentals isn’t enough, romantic relationships offer us an avenue to learn stuff about who we are, e.g. considerate, passionate, good at kissing, bad at cleaning up.
So, what influences our romantic choices? Speaking generally, it seems that when men and women are asked about the factors that influence who it is they fancy both sexes appear to rate physical attractiveness highly. However, when asked about factors that are important in choosing long-term partners, while men again talk about physical attractiveness, women are seen to be more influenced by men’s earning potential, i.e. men that can offer a sense of security. These reports are in keeping with the popular image of the perfect couple comprising a pretty girl and a successful guy as depicted in fairytales (e.g. Cinderella) and popular cinema (e.g. Pretty Woman, My Fair Lady).
However, for your information a recent psychological study found that people who value physical attractiveness highly may actually be no more likely to feel chemistry with, or say yes to dates with physically attractive people. That is, even those who seemingly place a high premium on physical appearance would seem to be greatly influenced by factors other than good looks, like the little thing of personality, for instance.
Good-looks and personality aside, it is worth noting that at the age of 16 around 40% of young people have not yet had first-hand experience of a romantic relationship. It is also worth noting that those who have had the experience can find it to be somewhat complicated and at times difficult to navigate. Notwithstanding their challenges, romantic relationships - be they past, present or future - give us cause for celebration. So, whatever your current relationship status keep your head and heart in the right place, enjoy the give and take of your non-romantic relationships and remember, if birds, bees and educated fleas do it, love and romance can’t be half-bad.
By: Aidan McKiernan, Psychologist, UL
