How to support a friend who is battling with depression

There for them through thick and thin.

When a friend is battling with depression, it can be hard to know what to do. They might act differently or just seem ‘off.’ Or, they may have been diagnosed with depression and are open about needing support. Either way, you might be wondering what you can do to help and how you can be there for your friend.

People experiencing depression may have the following symptoms:

Feelings of sadness, hopelessness or apathy
Insomnia
Appetite changes - the person’s appetite may decrease or it may increase
Inability to concentrate - this may affect their school and work performance
Suicidal thoughts, urges or attempts

What you can do to help:

Encourage your friend to seek help, by going to a doctor or perhaps seeking out a counsellor. If they are already receiving help, encourage them to keep appointments and be a listening ear if they want to talk about how things are going. If they have not sought any help, you may want to encourage them to do so.

Let your friend know you are there for them anytime they want to vent. Reassure them that they can say the same things over and over and you will still listen. Concentrate on listening as best as you can, rather than offering opinions or advice, as often people who are feeling depressed can find advice (even well intentioned) overwhelming. Having someone to listen to can be a tremendous help.

Be open to different forms of communication. It may be tough for your mate to express his deeper feelings face to face, so being open to text messages, email or instant messaging (even at crazy hours) could be a great way to keep the comms open and your support solid.

Do some reading about depression. There are tons of books on it out there as well as a lot of supportive websites. You might find sites such as www.aware.ie/ and www.grow.ie/ helpful. Click here to source further interesting and helpful links.

Shower them in praise (or at least a nice sprinkle!). People experiencing depression often judge themselves harshly and put themselves down - a lot. Make sure they know how much they genuinely knock your socks off.

Remind them that depression is a medical issue and not some personal flaw. Fact. Simple as.

Offer to help with everyday tasks that need to be done such as housework or paying bills. A person dealing with depression may sometimes find these types of things overwhelming.

If you live with the person, try to minimise stress in their environment and help make sure they eat regular meals, take their medication and keep to a regular sleep time. You obviously don’t want to patronise them, but a little thoughtfulness about these things could go a long way.

Do things together. Even simple things like a trip to the cinema or a walk can buoy up their spirits. Remind them how great it is to have a lovely friend like you.

If they are drinking a lot of alcohol or taking a lot of drugs, try to encourage them to stop, as excessive use can make depression go from dark to darker.

Look after yourself. Taking care of or even helping a person with depression can be extremely draining and difficult. Try to get help from others who can also support your friend through her depression, so that the pressure is not all just on you. Also, make time for de-stressing activities such as exercise and spending time with friends.

Further Information:

Coping with mental illness in the family

www.aware.ie/

www.grow.ie

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See the help section for contact details of support organisations.