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Feeling like a failure

I'm a loser baby, so why don't ya kill me?

Article by : SpunOut.ie
I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work. – Thomas Edison


It seems nearly everyone will feel down on themselves or like a ‘failure’ at some point in their life. It’s not an easy feeling to live with and will quite honestly make most people feel like dirt! Everyone has different reasons for feeling a failure though. Some of us may feel rotten if we don’t get four A’s on the Leaving, while others may feel like a failure if they just don’t pass. Heck, even one B would make these people dance on the roof!

So, in a way, failure is a deeply personal thing, since one person’s failure is another person’s triumph.

Types of things that can lead people to feel like they are failures:

  • Job worries: Being made redundant, fired, being unable to find a job, or not knowing what the hell you want to do can be a major stressor and personal let down!
  • Relationship worries: The end of a relationship can lead us to feeling like a failure, even if we are the ones who end it. Saying good-bye to someone we care or cared for can feel like the end of a dream and can lead to feeling down on ourselves.
  • School/college: If you do not get what you want in terms of results, you may feel like you have let yourself down. You may also feel bad if you sense you’ve chosen the wrong course.
  • Money worries: The feelings that come with constantly struggling to pay the bills, let alone enjoying a social life, can be not only daunting, but also depressing.
  • Life not following ‘the plan’: You had in mind a planned career path, relationship or living situation and it all goes to s***. Ouch.

 

 

 

How to deal with this feeling:

Take heed of these top tips from Canadian psychologist Susan Meindl:

  • Recognise that you are not alone: We all feel this way at some point in our lives. Yes, this may not help us solve our issues, but it should help us to see that feeling like a failure is a very common and real feeling.
  • Consider the possibility that you are not a failure: Oh c’mon you say, how could anyone without a job/other half/living at home/in my position not feel like a failure? Maybe the issue is not that you are a failure; maybe the issue is the standards you or society has set? Is it really right that everyone should be married by 30 or that everyone should have a secure, stable career within a certain time frame? Maybe it is the world that has failed you, instead of you failing the world?
  • Try to broaden your versions of success: Our society is obsessed with success that comes in the form of fame, money, perfect looks etc. What could success mean to you really? Could success mean having great friends, being smart, travelling or even becoming more spiritual? This is your choice. It is not easy to re-evaluate what success means to you, but it might just be worth it.
  • Believe in yourself:  No matter how hard it can seem, if others manage to get through bad periods why can’t you? If you look back at your life or even at the lives of others around you, you will see that many people have felt like they failed, yet have started over and come out the other side.


Further Information and help:

www.youthreach.ie/

www.irish-counselling.ie/

 

 

 

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