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Helping others
How to help a friend or family member going through tough times.
If you or someone you know is at risk of suicide or self harm, you should immediately contact your local doctor or go to the A&E department of the nearest hospital. You can contact the emergency services by calling 999 or 112. The doctors and hospitals in your area will be listed in the Golden Pages: www.goldenpages.ie.
Helping someone at risk of suicide or self harm:
- Don’t leave your friend alone. If necessary, call 999 and wait for help to arrive. Let your friend know that you will stay with them until help arrives or offer to go with them when they seek help.
- If a friend tells you that they feel suicidal or are at risk of self harming, it is important that you encourage your friend to get help and that you also talk to someone who can help.
- Never keep a suicide plan a secret. Even if your friend has asked you not to tell anyone, it is important that you talk to a professional so that your friend can get the support that is needed.
- You and your friend can talk to a doctor, school /college counsellor or support organisation such as Samaritans (1850 609090).
- Be open and listen if a friend or family member wants to talk about their feelings or problems. Many people who are thinking of suicide try to talk to a friend first.
- Support your friend without judging them. Let them know that you are ready to help them or keep them company if they need it. Don’t get angry with them if they aren’t ready to talk. Use phrases like “I’m worried about you and I want to help” or “Whatever’s bothering you, we’ll go through this together”.
- If you are worried about someone and not sure how best to help, then talk to a doctor or contact Samaritans (1850 609090) for confidential support. Click here for other organisations that can help.
- Find out more about suicide and self harm.
Look after yourself:
It’s important to take care of your own health as well. You might be worried, frightened or stressed if a friend confides in you about their problems.
Remember that you can offer your friend support and encourage him/ her to seek help, however you are not responsible for your friend.
It is important that you talk to someone you trust (maybe a family member, school counsellor, doctor or support organisation) and share any worries or feelings with them. Remember, that no matter what the question or the problem, there is always someone that can help.
Helping someone who is depressed:
- Don’t ignore your friend or pretend that everything is okay and normal. It’s important to ask, “Are you alright?” “Are you depressed?” or “Do you want to talk about what’s getting you down?”
- Remind your friend that you are there for them and you want to help.
- Your friend might not want to talk to you so it's important to be patient and sympathetic.
- Don’t criticise or complain that your friend is lazy or isn’t making an effort. Remember that depression is NOT treated by pulling yourself together, getting on with it or ignoring the problem.
- Encourage your friend to visit a doctor and ask if they want you to arrange an appointment. If they don’t want to do this or the doctor’s appointment doesn’t help, then encourage them to talk to a support organisation such as Aware:
- Aware Helpline PHONE: 1890 303302
Supports those who are directly affected by depression. Aware operates a helpline which is a form of non-directive counselling, available to sufferers and their families. Aware Support Groups operate throughout the country providing information to both patients and their families.
- If your friend talks about suicide or hints that they want to self-harm contact a doctor or the Samaritans (1850 609090) immediately. If your friend refuses to talk to a professional, do so yourself and ask for advice.
- If you think your friend is going to hurt themselves, call 999 and stay with them until help arrives. Also try to calm then down and get them to talk.
- Find out more about depression.
Search for support on SpunOut.ie:
You can find all sorts of supportive information here on SpunOut.ie. If you can’t find exactly what you are looking for then use the Search facility at the top right hand corner of every page to find supportive SpunOut.ie articles, as well as useful services and organisations nationwide.
How to use the search:
Simply enter the search term (what you are looking for) in the search box at the top right hand corner of any page.The search will give you access to relevant SpunOut.ie articles, as well as contact details for services and organisations nationwide.
Too many results?
If you search for a broad term, such as 'youth centre', you will see contact details for all related articles and organisations. So narrow the search by being more specific, for example, searching for ‘Youth centre Tralee'.
You can also directly access results on a certain topic. Just adapt the following web address to the topic that you are searching for:
www.spunout.ie/topic/yoursearchterm
For example:
www.spunout.ie/topic/drugs will provide you with all articles, organisations and services relating to drugs.
Further information:
Helping someone who is bullied
Helping someone recover from an eating disorder
Helping someone who is drunk or in an alcohol emergency
Helping someone in a drug emergency
