Quirky quotes

Who told you I was paranoid? It was THEM, wasn't it?

• I love to go to the playground and watch the children jumping up and down. They don’t know I’m firing blanks.
• I used to always leave things unfinished, but now I...
• I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me. (Hunter S. Thompson).
• I'd like to see things from your point of view but I just can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
• No one can make you feel inferior without your own consent.
• True Friendship is infinite and immortal.
• I’m not a bitch, I’m the bitch, and that’s Miss Bitch to you.
• Sticks and stones may break my bones but whips and chains excite me.
• A violin is the revenge exacted by the intestines of a dead cat.
• To write a diary every day is like returning to one’s own vomit.
• Outside of a dog, a book is a man’s best friend; inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.
• Everyone hears what you say.  Friends listen to what you say.  Best friends listen to what you don’t say.
• Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.
• People who never get carried away should be.
• Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
• Every procedure for getting a cat to take a pill works fine -- once. Like the Borg, they learn...
• “They can tak’ our lives but they cannae take our freedom!”  Now there's a battle cry not designed by a clear thinker...
• Experience has taught me that you feel better on a plane if you avoid the chicken fat embroiled in plastic sauce.
• Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.
• I have an existential map. It has 'You are here' written all over it.
• It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
• True friends stab you in the front.
• It's a strange world of language in which skating on thin ice can get you into hot water.

By: Miriam Needham

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