Juicy plans

Buying a juicer is a whole lot easier than becoming a healthy student.

I had such great plans for my New Year’s resolutions. I was going to visit the gym twice a week, go for regular walks, eat healthily and generally look after my body. I have always been told that I have an overactive imagination, but I was determined that this was going to be more fact than fiction.

My first purchase in the January sales was a huge crazy-ass juicer, which I vowed would change my life. No more junk food for me, I was going to make sure I had the recommended five pieces of fruit and veg every day. No more lazy student cuisine, I was prepared to do for my meal times what Jamie Oliver has done for school dinners. 

It is now mid February, and I have already broken every one of my resolutions. In fact I’m not quite sure if I ever really got started. I do not eat anywhere near five pieces of fruit of veg a day, I don’t even eat anywhere near that in an average week.  I do a little exercise but it tends to consist of rolling in and out of bed and that’s on a good day- sometimes I don’t even roll out of bed. Then there’s the times when I can’t find the remote control for the TV, and I have to make that long trek to change the channel manually.

I blame that bloody juicer. Who was the stupid person who designed it and decided that it needed a million different pieces? It’s bad enough that I need about 10 oranges in order to produce a decent glass of orange juice- it’s even worse that after juicing all those oranges it takes me about twenty minutes to wash all those annoying little pieces that make up my juicer. It reminds me a bit of those little Russian dolls that used to fascinate me when I was little. When you opened the big doll it contained another inside, and when you opened that an ever smaller one was revealed, you know the type. Well, that’s what it’s like trying to wash my juicer.

I guess I’m just going to have to grit my teeth and get stuck in. I mean what’s a little bit of fairy liquid and a few dishes. After all, if it means that I’ll get all my vitamins and that I won’t be attacked by every strain of bacteria known to man, it can only be a good thing. 

Lent is my latest reasoning for turning over a new leaf. First thing tomorrow I am heading to Tescos and I’m purchasing apples, oranges, celery, broccoli and cabbage- all those things that you are supposed to eat but never have enough money for after throwing the Doritos, chocolate, and ice cream into the trolley.  

 But then again … it only takes a few seconds to pour some vitamin C from a carton of juice.

By: Marie Duffy

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