Facebook
Twitter
YouTube
SpunOut.ie Blog
Coping with the big-B
BLOG: Project Breakup findings are in!
Article by : SpunOut.ie
Project Breakup: The verdict is in…
A successful collaboration between Spunout.ie and the University of Limerick yields some interesting findings in relation to young people’s experiences of romantic relationship breakup.
The aim of ‘Project Breakup’, which was recently submitted to the University of Limerick as Dr. Aidan Mc Kiernan’s doctoral thesis in clinical psychology, was to listen to young people’s personal stories about coping with breakup. The findings were based on an analysis of messages posted on the Project Breakup discussion forum hosted by Spunout.ie. Reported below are key findings from the study.
Findings!
- Romantic relationships play an important part in young people’s lives.
- They involve feelings of intense attraction and a sense of trust and security.
- Many factors contribute to breakups, including living far away from each other, having other commitments (e.g., school / college), incompatibility and timing.
- The impact of breakup on young people can be severe. However, while some young people feel intense pain and regret following a breakup others see it as an opportunity to do new things and have new relationships.
- The experience of breakup is particularly tricky for young people because they may have to negotiate an on-going relationship with ‘the Ex’ in school, work or on Facebook, Twitter, etc.
- Breakup can also affect the way young people feel or think about themselves (e.g., I’ musn't be good enough).
- Breakups can have implications for young people’s routines (i.e. Who they do / don’t hang around with) and plans for the future may have to be revised.
- All the while young people must continue to navigate the challenges and stresses of everyday life.
- While many young people consider their breakups to really difficult experiences there is a sense that the seriousness of the whole thing is not appreciated by others.
- Approaches to managing breakup include getting emotional support from others; expressing thoughts and feelings through songs, keeping a diary or posting on moderated discussion forums. New hobbies and activities can also offer welcome distractions from the upset that accompanies breakup.
- Some young people indulge in booze and may even change their eating behaviours though they report finding little comfort in that.
- In adjusting to a breakup young people learn important things about themselves and other people and how the world works; some find that they think about certain things differently, perhaps valuing different things following the experience (e.g., friendship).
- It is also true that breakups can create an opportunity to have new and equally fulfilling relationships.
- Young people describe acceptance as a process that is best realised by exercising self-compassion – that is, by being kind to yourself.
- Finally, while internet discussion forums can provide valuable support for young people following relationship breakup there may in some cases be a role for mental health professionals to support young people who report suicidal thoughts or show high levels of distress over an extended period of time.
Related articles
The joy and despair of crushes